I Wanna Die A Violent Death

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Description

I Wanna Die A Violent Death

Howard Levinson

The Story Behind the Song                                                                                                                                                       I wrote this song in between calls for service while working as a paramedic.Each verse describes a scene that I can still see when I close my eyes. I recall picking up the various pieces of a teenager who sat down on the tracks and waited for the train. His body parts were spread over about 1/2 mile of track. It was cold and the mush of what had been his torso was still steaming when I arrived on the scene…. An old guy with terminal cancer put a .38 up to his temple and pulled the trigger. His shoes were covered with his blood and brains…Our ambulance transferred many folks who were near death from public health facilities and nursing homes. These patients suffered terribly from various physical and/or mental illnesses. I decided that it would be preferable to die quick, even violently than to suffer for months and years from some debilitating disease.

Song Lyrics

I’ve seen people in terrible pain, I’ve seen children whose bodies have been maimed
I’ve seen old people having heart attacks
I’ve picked up mangled bodies cross the railroad tracks, cross the railroad tracks.

And I wanna die a violent death, I wanna hold on to my last gasping breath
Want my adrenaline to be pumping, my muscles quivering and my heart a jumping
Want my eyes to be filled with terror
I want to see it all like in a full length mirror, in a full length mirror.

It’s just amazing what the body can take, before it falls apart, starts to break down.
Carpets drenched in blood, bed sheets too
Brain matter splattered on the victims shoes
It entered so innocently, but exits so cruel, it exits so cruel.

And I wanna die a violent death, I wanna hold on to my last gasping breath
Want my adrenaline to be pumping, my muscles quivering and my heart a jumping
Want my eyes to be filled with terror
I want to see it all like in a full length mirror, a full length mirror.

I’ve strapped down the insane, I’ve punctured through the big veins
I’ve shot so many fucking drugs, I just don’t give a damn
All the blood, the death, the sickness and confusion
It makes me feel so right, this must be a delusion
All the intense suffering and the pain, the comatose and deranged.
The human condition at its worst I love the best.

And I wanna die a violent death, I wanna hold on to my last gasping breath
Want my adrenaline to be pumping, my muscles quivering and my heart a jumping
Want my eyes to be filled with terror
I want to see it all like in a full length mirror, a full length mirror.

I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die.

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